Ever feel like throwing your computer out the window?

Its always the same... one big circle of crap,

'Page cannot be found press REFRESH or go BACK'

Yea.. back to the days where we used pen and paper!

Then 'The server is down please try again later'

If I wanted it later I wouldnt be here now,

Anyway its frozen... try again HOW?!

Oh great! Just to add to my mounting frustration,

'Windows has performed an illegal operation'

In other words what it is trying to say,

Is 'Windows has crashed, like it does every day!'

Now lets try that 'Control Alt Delete' thing,

'Hey its not my fault so stop f*ckin bleeping!'

'The program is not responding' Whats this?

'You think like I haven't bleedin well noticed?!'

'It may be waiting for a response from you'

'I'll throw you through the window if you want me to!

Right, Ill unplug you, you damn stupid thing!

HA! Now that stopped you bloody complaining!'

Lets try that again, and ill try not to scream,

What does it say on this bright blue screen?

'To avoid seeing this notice in future,

Be sure to always shut down your computer'

'Are you bloody kidding? You're not very funny!,

I would have done, if you'd soddin well let me!'

I'm just trying to check if I've got any emails!

But guess what? 'Internet connection has failed'

Details..'The modem could not be detected'

'Why? Whats wrong now? are you infected?!

The fire wall is on and you're virus protected,

I checked all the boxes and they're all selected!

The wires and cables have all been inspected!

The modem is there and its f*ckin connected!

Now look a bit harder you cant have just lost it,

You had it! I used it! In the last twenty minutes!'

Oh the modems returned, but with 'no dial tone',

'Well I checked and its there on the damn telephone!'

Ill just click connect every minute for an hour,

'I will beat you computer! I do have the power!'

Woohoo! now then, type in the address at the top,

And FINALLY I'll get to see what emails I've got,

But just when it all seems to be back on track,

'Page cannot be found, press REFRESH or go BACK'.

Salad

I love to see Dandelions
Mounded on my plate...
Hanging Gardens of Babylon?
Best thing I ever ate.

How about the compost heap?
And cuttings from the mower?
Bet you'll get them real cheap,
Making meal prices lower!

Do I have the 'plate of weeds'?
Or 'Steak with Shrubbery?'
'potato soup with leaves and seeds',
Or 'Privet hedge for 3'?

Hide my meat with greenery
Send trees to the slaughter,
And charge me six pounds ninety,
For crunchy bits of water.

I love the taste of nothingness
Its so empty and so bland
Especially stuff like watercress
Or lettuce cut in strands.

Its so much more exciting
To struggle as you eat,
To spend ten minutes fighting
For lips and leaf to meet.

To add to the variety
We'll add sh*t loads of oil,
Lets not wash it properly
Indulge in bugs and soil.

Who wants pizza?
Who eats cake?
Who has chips
Beside their steak?
Lets eat forests
Lets eat grass,
And real food
Can kiss my ass!

Blind Sight

I have no need for light bulbs
In a house that's always dark,
I know exactly where I’m going
In the fog that drowns the park.

I’m not afraid of spiders
As they tickle in my hand,
Nothing can look ugly
In an inner beauty land.

I don't own a single mirror
I don't own a makeup case
I don't know about vanity
I don't know my own face.

I see behind your smile
When its loaded with lies,
I see inside your laughter
A disguise of inner cries.

I see into your window
The soul behind each blink,
I see through every barricade
I see more than you think.