Salad

I love to see Dandelions
Mounded on my plate...
Hanging Gardens of Babylon?
Best thing I ever ate.

How about the compost heap?
And cuttings from the mower?
Bet you'll get them real cheap,
Making meal prices lower!

Do I have the 'plate of weeds'?
Or 'Steak with Shrubbery?'
'potato soup with leaves and seeds',
Or 'Privet hedge for 3'?

Hide my meat with greenery
Send trees to the slaughter,
And charge me six pounds ninety,
For crunchy bits of water.

I love the taste of nothingness
Its so empty and so bland
Especially stuff like watercress
Or lettuce cut in strands.

Its so much more exciting
To struggle as you eat,
To spend ten minutes fighting
For lips and leaf to meet.

To add to the variety
We'll add sh*t loads of oil,
Lets not wash it properly
Indulge in bugs and soil.

Who wants pizza?
Who eats cake?
Who has chips
Beside their steak?
Lets eat forests
Lets eat grass,
And real food
Can kiss my ass!